Ok, back to surgery day. We arrived at Mercy Hospital around 6 AM on September 22nd for Nati's surgery. We were then placed in a waiting room for 15 minutes before being taken back to the holding room. It was here that we confirmed Nati's information and lack of medical history, met with our surgeon and our anesthesia team. We were reassured over and over again that this was a minor, routine procedure but this did nothing to settle mom and dad's nerves. The first thing they asked us to do was to change Nati out of his Thomas pajamas and into a hospital gown. This of course set off a wave of tears as Nati tried to rip the gown off and put back on HIS pajamas. Clothing and shoes continue to be huge security items to Nati and I truly believe that somewhere in his mind he thinks that keeping them on at all times means he is staying with us. It is heartbreaking to watch this and on this already stressful morning it almost sent me into tears as well.
Something we talked extensively about with all members of the care team was the fact that there is research showing that 30% of Ethiopian kids are rapid metabolizers of Codeine. We put it down as an allergy and told them we did not even want him to have hydrocodone after surgery even though they assured us it was different. What we didn't realize at the time was that Ethiopian kids that rapid metabolize Codeine can have trouble with anesthesia and other narcotics as well. So when the nurse insisted we give him Versed to help him calm down, I went against my mommy instinct and allowed it. Within 3 minutes Nati was completely out of it and limp in my arms. Thankfully the anesthesiologist understood Nati's background and allowed me into the OR until he was completely under anesthesia.
I was escorted out to the waiting room where Brandon was waiting and told the doctor would be with us in 10-15 minutes. Sure enough about 15 minutes later the surgeon came out to tell us that the surgery had went really well for the most part. He was only able to remove part of Nati's adenoids because when he got the tonsils out he revealed a split uvula which is an indicator for a partial cleft palate and he believed the adenoids were keeping it covered. As soon as he left I looked at Brandon with tears in my eyes and said "Praise God, a cleft palate could have very easily been a death sentence for our already hard to feed boy in Ethiopia.". Once again we were being reminded of how God's hand of protection has been over Nati even since he was in his birthmother's womb.
We had explained over and over again how important it was for us to be there when Nati woke up and to be the first ones to comfort him so our nerves set in again when 30 minutes passed and they still had not come to get us. I went up to the desk and asked them to call back and check. The woman at the desk said that he was still in the OR but that as far as she could tell everything was ok. We waited another long 15 minutes before being called to go back to recovery. As soon as we enter the recovery bay I could hear Nati crying all the way at the other end. I walked as fast as I could without running and when I turned the corner I was met by 3 nurses and someone from the anesthesia team. One nurse immediately began helping me get the side rail down and encouraged me to pick him up. As I was trying to pick him up without tugging on any of his monitor wires or IV the woman from anesthesia began talking to Brandon. I could tell by her voice that she was pretty shaken up as she explained that she would strongly encourage us to never give Nati narcotics again. When the surgery was over they could not get Nati to wake up, even after reversing the Versed multiple times. His breathing was also still having trouble regulating even while I was holding him. She said she has only seen one other person in her career have this much difficulty with anesthesia and the narcotic.
Within another half hour we were moved to the pediatric floor where Nati's vitals and breathing were monitored very closely over the next several hours. He was also given a steroid to try to counteract any effect the Narcotic was still having. For the next couple hours his speech was slurred and he could not sit up alone. He cried for almost 2 hours straight after waking up from surgery and when he finally fell asleep he only slept for 30 minutes. However, by the afternoon he was holding down fluid and drinks and so they sent us home that evening. I can honestly say I am so glad they did. As soon as Nati got home and in his pajamas he went to sleep and slept through the night. I think he just could not relax in the sterilized environment of the hospital. Benjamin was also very relieved to have us back home. He had asked for Nati all day and on the way to Springfield kept saying " I'm going to get my mom. I'm going to get my mom."
The days since the surgery have been hard. We had been doing hard work to try to keep Nati's eating and drinking routine in place and all of that has been undone. We have been rotating Tylenol and Ibprofen every four hours and if we miss a dose Nati starts crying and pointing to his throat and saying "asamama" which is Amharic for hurt. He is still only eating soft foods and we are thankful that he is taking fluids very easily. We have been getting lots of extra cuddles as well and for that we have no complaints. ;)
In the last two weeks we have also had many really encouraging moments. We have had a huge answer to prayer in the surgery not undoing attachment for Nati. If anything he has allowed us to nurture and baby him even more which is really a wonderful thing.
Nati has been working on his coloring skills and is now able to use multiple colors and different strokes. Before he would use one color and only draw straight lines. He also has mastered 3 puzzles and has learned to have fun while doing them. He is learning to do creative play with baby dolls and cars and trains. It is hard to imagine but, at the age of 4, Nati has had to learn to play. He has likely never had people sit down and show him how to roll the car instead of banging it on the ground or how to build a tower. In fact when we first took custody of Nati the only thing he wanted to do was pack the toys back safely into their packaging or cling to them desperately so no one would take them away. It has been such a joy watching him learn how fun it is to actually play with the toys. This is, of course, still a work in progress but we have been so encouraged to see so much growth in such a small time.
Nati has also learned a few new English words and phrases in the last few weeks. His favorites are "I want it" (This applies to pretty much anything his siblings have or sweets), "more", and "come mommy/daddy". We are also continuing to learn more Amharic and there is still a lot of pointing. We are figuring it out and communication is happening which is the most important thing.
We have now had custody of Nati for 9 weeks and we have been home for 7 weeks. I would say that our days are now mostly good with a few hard moments. Nati is learning what it means to be in a family and to have one mommy and daddy that will meet your needs. We are learning more about Nati's amazing personality everyday. All of the kids are creating a sibling bond.
We are doing hard work, but it is also beautiful work.
Life is starting to settle...and that is a really amazing feeling.
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