One Month!!!

Today Nati has officially been a member of our family for one month!!! It is hard to believe a whole month has passed since an Ethiopian judge approved what we had known for so long. Natinim Solomon was a part of our family FOREVER!!!

We have learned so much about each other over the last 4 weeks. There is still so much to learn but we are uncovering new details and layers to this special little guy everyday. I was able to spend the first 2 weeks in Ethiopia alone with Nati and I will always be grateful for that time spent together in his beautiful country forming those early routines for bonding. The last 2 weeks have been spent back at home with a few outings but mostly keeping our world small. 

Two of our outings have been to doctors appointments. The first was to the pediatrician for basic labs, a physical exam and to receive the needed referrals for specialists appointments. 

The second appointment was to the Pediatric Ophthalmologist to make a plan for Nati's eyes. The language barrier and developmental delay made the eye tests nearly impossible but the doctor was able to give us a diagnosis just from a few tests and observing Nati. Nati has what is called Duane Syndrome (Type I).  This is caused by the miswiring of several eye muscles and nerves and probably occurred  around the 6th week of pregnancy. It is due to poor development of tiny parts of the brain stem that control the eye muscles and causes his eyes to not be able to move outward. Typically kids would compensate for this by turning their head from side to side to see things but because of Nati's vertebral fusion in his neck he has limited neck mobility. For the time being we are going to have him wear glasses to help compensate. There is a small chance this could work well enough but it is more likely that he will have to have surgery on both eyes to help as a long term solution. We are thankful that the doctor was willing to take the less aggressive approach and give us more time to bond before we explore this option. We will go back two days before Thanksgiving to assess further. 

If possible, we think he is even MORE adorable with glasses! :)

One of the first things we figured out after taking custody of Nati in Ethiopia is that his breathing while sleeping is a little scary. He snores and gasps and sometimes quits breathing all together several times a night. As you can imagine this has made it very hard for him to sleep peacefully...mom and dad too. We were unsure what was causing this but it was definitely at the top of our list to explore when we got home. When we went to our pediatrician we found out that Nati's tonsils are pretty much touching. While we are unsure if removing them will completely take care of the sleep apnea we are hoping that is will significantly improve his breathing. We will be going to the ENT this coming Wednesday to schedule a surgery date. 

Then we will be going back to the pediatrician on September 18th to start Nati's vaccinations and possibly do more labs. We will also talk about getting referrals to other specialists, including a pediatric cardiologist and pediatric neurologist. So as you can see the medical appointments are keeping us pretty busy for the time being.

A few other things coming up in the next few weeks will be:

-Brandon going back to work full time

-First family photo shoot

-Starting school with the girls again

-First post placement visit with our social worker (These will be done at 3, 6 and 12 months and then yearly until he is 18)

-Hopefully getting the needed documents to start the adoption here in the states (Just in case you thought the paperwork was over) ;)

We are so thankful for your continued prayers as we adjust to our new normal. While we are definitely starting the hard work of reversing years spent in an orphanage we are also seeing big steps in the right direction. Nati continues to bravely trust us a little more each day and to allow us to do things for him that he has been doing for himself for years. Just this week we have experienced two really huge examples of healing behavior. For the first time Nati said he was done eating before the food was gone. I could have literally just sat there and cried. For a child that has not always known food is coming again this was a big show of trust on his part. Also, last night for the first time I was able to soothe Nati. I know this sounds so small but for the past several years he has been left to deal with his emotions on his own and having us comfort and soothe him is extremely difficult and uncomfortable for him. We have tried just about everything but most of the time we just hold him and rock him, letting him know we are a safe place when he is upset, mad or frustrated. Last night I was able to swaddle him up and offer him his pacifier and bottle. There were tears and a little bit of resistance but FINALLY he curled into me and the tears subsided. His eyes kept blinking closed and popping back open. I may have sang "Jesus Loves Me" 30 times but he snuggled in and fell asleep and there were more tears but this time they were from me.

God is so good and the healing of Nati's heart will only be accomplished through His mighty power. I know we have a long way to go still but month one has been a good one. 

We cannot wait to see all that God has in store for Nati and our family in the coming days and weeks.

I am so thankful I get to be his mommy.  <3

Transitioning Home

Our family has officially been living under the same roof for one week! It is so crazy to type those words. For close to 2 years we have longed to be doing normal life together and we are finally getting to do it.

The past week has been busy but not in a productive kind of way. 

Those of you who are parents will recognize the first week home after a new addition when you feel success at accomplishing such insignificant things that it seems a little silly to those outside the home. 

For the most part we have spent our days meeting the physical and emotional needs of one of our 5 children. At this point that takes up the majority of our days. The first couple days home there were plenty of tears from all of them as they processed the fact that mom was finally home and as they adjusted our new normal. 

Undoubtedly, the boys have had the most adjustment. Nati to a whole new culture and life and Benjamin to the whole new world of welcoming a sibling. The girls have slipped right into their big sister roles well and without too much adjustment. They love to baby both of the boys and they do it very well. In fact it has been so normal to them that 2 of them have already asked when we will be adding another sibling to the family. 

They have not received an answer on this matter yet. 

Overall, things are going so much better than we could have hoped for. The whole family is settling in and it feels like we have always been together. Nati is trying new foods and experiences and is taking it all in stride. I continue to be amazed at the strength and bravery of that boy. He has such a sweet personality and I believe he was somewhat relieved to have his siblings to play with after being an only child for 2 weeks. 

This past week we went in for Nati's first doctor's appointment here in the states. We have received our first referrals to specialist and have more that will be happening in the future. While his health seems to be much better than it has been at times there are still several things that need further examination. We will be seeing a pediatric ophthalmologist on Tuesday to determine if Nati will need glasses, surgery, neither or both. The following week we will be seeing an ENT for a surgical consult. Surgery to remove Nati's tonsils and adenoids will likely be scheduled soon after that appointment. From there we will likely be referred to a pediatric cardiologist and a pediatric neurosurgeon. We will be working hard to catch up on missed vaccinations and to reverse his malnutrition. 

We are so thankful to know that nothing will be revealed in these appointments or tests that God doesn't already know. 

He knit Nati together and He knew everything about him before he was formed. 

Please pray for God to give wisdom to all the doctors that will treat Nati and that as his parents we would have discernment about how to best move forward with his care. 

We are so thankful for all of the prayers, meals and paper products that have already been delivered to our house over the past week. We are so thankful that when God called us to this journey he gave us the BEST support system ever. Thank you for all of the practical ways you have loved on our family. You have made our transition home so easy and we are so grateful. 

We're Coming Home!!!

In this process to bring Nati home God has provided for us in some of the most extravagant ways. 

Brandon and I have continually prayed that things would happen in a way where only God could receive the credit. 

We have seen him answer this prayer so many times over the last couple years.  

And today He did it again…

At 4 pm today I started clicking refresh in my email approximately every 5 seconds waiting anxiously to hear from our agency that the medical clearance had been issued. At 4:05 PM I received an email stating that our agency had not received the medical clearance and was told to come back tomorrow at 2 PM. 

To give you a little perspective on what this means I will try to explain the system the best I can. The embassy is only open Monday-Thursday from 8AM-4 PM. Each agency is given 2 days per week when they can submit documents. Our agency’s days are Monday and Wednesday. Also, there is the fun little detail that on these days they are to submit the documents between 8AM and noon. So, essentially they have 8 hours a week where they can submit documents to the embassy. 

So you have probably caught onto the fact that this one day delay on the medical clearance would actually end up costing us another week in country.

We were pretty upset. There were tears. Lots of deep breaths and saying “It’s ok”, to ourselves and each other, even though it didn’t feel ok.

6 minutes later our agency emailed the embassy requesting special permission to file all of the other documents except for the medical clearance in the morning and to bring the clearance in the afternoon to add to the file. We didn’t know if it would work but at this point it was the best chance we had at trying to fly out this week.

17 minutes after that we received an email letting us know that our agency rep  had been called back to the clinic and told to come get the medical clearance.

We were so excited!!!

I immediately emailed our travel agent we have been using to get the quickest, cheapest airfare possible. She said that there were only two seats left on the Friday night flight out of Addis and they had went up to $8,000 EACH!!!

She asked me if I wanted her to grab them to which I replied in a dignified manner “NO WAY!!!”.

She started looking at other flights but was having trouble getting us a good rate and a seat this weekend. It appeared that after all the initial excitement I would still be here until next week.

Our agency then sent us another email putting us in contact with a woman who had met Nati several years ago. She had fallen in love with him (as most people do) and wanted to help. She wanted to pay for the airfare to get both of us home.

She even had a couple flights researched that could get us home a little quicker. 

She is flying us first class all the way home.

.    .    .

In case there was any doubt in your mind, tears are flowing freely as I type this.

“I don’t think the way you think.

    

The way you work isn’t the way I work.”

       

 God’s Decree.

“For as the sky soars high above earth,

   

 so the way I work surpasses the way you work,

   

 and the way I think is beyond the way you think.”

Isaiah 55:8-9

Throughout this process there have been three things we have tried to hold to in the good and the bad.

He is Good. He is Faithful. He is Able.

We’re Coming Home!!!

Almost There...

At around 7 AM this morning we left the guesthouse and headed to Nati’s medical appointment. We arrived 15 minutes before the clinic opened and yet there was already a room full of people in line. It took another 2.5 hours to be seen by the doctor.

I will start with the big “Yes” we received to your prayers. Nati’s TB test was negative. This is a huge praise!!! If there had been any sort of delay with this it could have meant another 3-6 weeks spent in country. Second, it appears that Nati is not having any sort of reaction or discomfort from his vaccinations.

The third thing I asked you to pray for was expedited medical. The hospital/clinic is allowed 5 business days to clear Nati for travel but we went in pretty hopeful that we could receive clearance today because we have watched several other families accomplish this at our guesthouse. However, at the end of Nati’s physical the doctor told me that I could come back next Monday to get the clearance. I know that tears immediately sprang to my eyes as I begged her to reconsider. She continued to argue that because his medical is so complex it would take longer. I continued to beg her to please reconsider expediting his case. I could tell that she was getting increasingly frustrated with my persistence. I made eye contact with her one more time and just said “please”. With a big sigh she told my agency rep that she could come back tomorrow but no earlier than 4 pm. 

In case you are wondering about the significance of this time it is when the embassy closes for the day. This means we will not be able to submit to embassy until Wednesday. It also means I cannot be seen for an interview until Thursday.

I will admit I was very discouraged as I left the clinic today but my agency feels that we will still get to travel home by the end of this week!!!

So, a couple more ways for you to pray…

-         

         That the medical clearance is in fact issued tomorrow.

         

That the embassy will see me on Thursday.
        

That the embassy will issue us the visa on Thursday so we can come home this weekend.          

That we will be able to get seats on a flight out of Addis Friday night!!!
 

Sorry, I am so late getting to the update. We have been without power for most of the day here in Addis. First, I want to thank all of you for praying for our family over the last 24 hours we have felt every single prayer in the form of supernatural strength. I just received a text from Brandon that he is safely in Toronto and getting ready to board his 2 hour flight to STL. He should get home around 9 pm and I know there are 4 kids anxiously awaiting his arrival.

As you know from our Facebook posts we had a relaxing weekend together as a family of three. We moved to a new guesthouse on Sunday morning and had dinner with dear friends who are also here to meet their son.  The weekend was absolutely perfect!!!

On Monday we knew we would have a busy day. The first thing that needed to happen was for Nati’s passport to be picked up (our agency rep was able to do this for us). We also had to notarize a couple of documents here at the US embassy before Brandon left. After finishing this task we had a couple of hours until going to Nati’s farewell ceremony at the orphanage. Our driver was able to take us shopping to get a few of the things off of our list. We were able to visit the Former Woodworkers Association to buy scarves. I told myself I was only going to get 4 but with Brandon’s permission I bought a fifth. I love the cause of this organization. They employee women that used to carry back breaking bundles of wood down the mountain for $1-$2 a day. They teach them how to make the thread and weave it into beautiful scarves. The second place I really wanted to visit was the Leprosy hospital. The name is deceiving because the hospital also treats people with HIV/AIDS. The items sold in their shop are made by the patients and are sold to help cover the cost of their care. I was so excited to get to go to both of these places.

After a couple of hours of shopping we stopped at a bakery to buy a cake to take to the farewell ceremony and then we headed to the orphanage. I asked our driver to translate to Nati that we were just going back for a visit to see his nannies and friends. However, when we walked through the gates of the orphanage he became inconsolable. He would not even look at any of his nannies and just clung to my neck. I almost lost it right then. I felt so sad that Nati has no understanding that this is forever and we are never taking him back. I felt sad for those that have cared for him for the last several years that had so quickly become second choice for him. I felt sad as I watched the older boys, boys that desperately want families of their own, cheer for and congratulate Nati on his new life. Out of all of my days in Ethiopia this was by far the most overwhelming emotionally for me.

After leaving the orphanage we had an hour long drive back to the guesthouse. This only left one hour for us to eat and Brandon to finish packing before heading to the airport. As he was packing Nati put his shoes on and tried to pack his things too. Even without the language barrier we could never explain to our boy that even though daddy is leaving for now it is not forever. When it came time for Brandon to go Nati cried even harder than before. I wrapped him up in his blanket, sat down with him on the bed and cried right along with him.

People told me it would be hard to stay in Ethiopia and they were right. However, not for the reasons you might be thinking. Yes, it can be inconvenient to be without power or water for most of the day. It can be frustrating to sit in traffic for hours or to wait for an hour past when your driver said he would be there. It can be hard for a non adventurous eater to learn to like the food. But those are not really the things that make being here so hard for me. The things that make it so hard to be here are things that cause me to confront my own indifference about the suffering of others. Having children that are starved for affection and love climbing your arms and holding around your waist to get any kind of attention. Trying to pour enough love into them to last and then leaving them knowing many of them will never receive a family. Watching people beg on the streets for what I would flippantly spend on a soda back home. Seeing people who are dying from things that there are treatments for but that they have no access to. Seeing people dig through trash just to survive another day.

And after I am done crying over the injustice of it all and mourning the brokenness of this world I just want to shout at all of you to WAKE UP!!!! Your brothers and sisters are dying here in Ethiopia from drinking muddied water, having lack of access to medical care and with bloated bellies from starvation. There are literally people wasting away here and we are carrying on like we don’t even care. People created in God’s image are dying from things we could prevent and we are wasting our time and our resources with meaningless things and debates. I don’t know how to go back to my life at home after what I have seen firsthand here in Ethiopia. I don’t know how to justify the life I live and the reality facing people here. I don’t know how to pretend that it is ok, because it isn’t.

I have had a love for the Ethiopian people for several years now and being here has only made me love them more. Their resiliency in spite of extremely difficult lives and loving culture continue to amaze me. This country is so beautiful and so are the people I have met while here. My son is truly blessed to be Ethiopian. He encompasses everything I love about the people here in one little 4 year old body. I hope he never loses that. I hope he keeps it forever.