PAIR Process

It has been almost a month since I updated you guys last so I wanted to write a quick blog post to explain what has happened during that month. 

First, it has been a good month in the way of updates on Nati. Yesterday we received our monthly update from our agency which included a video of our little man walking around with good balance and even climbing into a little kids chair. In addition, we also received several videos and photos from a friend that was traveling for court for her daughter as well as updates on Nati's development and health. I should say that I am very thankful for the monthly updates that we receive from our agency but after a while they can seem like the same information each month. We still get excited and treasure them but it is different to get an update from a fellow mom. A fellow mom knows that more than I want to know if Nati's hair and skin are clean, I want to know about his heart. This is the fourth mom that has visited Nati and reported back to us and for that we are eternally grateful. Each and every person that has visited him has talked about how affectionate, sweet, smiley and loving he is. We are so thankful for this as sometime institutionalized kids are not comfortable with hugs, kisses and touch from an adult. We pray that this is God preparing Nati's heart for the love he will receive in our family. 

So, on to the updates on our little guy. His balance is SO much better and amazing. He is not only walking but even jogging a little bit. He is also now able to walk up and down the stairs. These are big milestones for him as he has not always been able to do this due to balance and vision issues. He can hold a crayon in a PERFECT pencil grasp with his left hand. He can even feed himself a few bites of food and clean his precious little face with a spoon. For a little man that has struggled with gross and fine motor skills he is doing really great...can you tell we are really PROUD of these accomplishments! :)

So, as you can tell it has been a great month of learning new things about our boy. However, that is not all that has been happening. At the end of my last blog post I explained that it would probably take at least a month (4-6 weeks) to receive the needed documents for PAIR. Our in country staff would then have to have them translated TWICE. This is a new requirement from USCIS for kids from Nati's region. The documents must be translated from Oromian to Amharic and then from Amharic to English. We were also concerned that this would cost us a little extra time. With that in mind I decided to start praying that we would be submitted to PAIR no later than Mother's Day. But yesterday we received an email from our agency that they had ALL of the needed documents in hand needed to submit to PAIR and that they were overnighting it to USCIS.  Our documents arrived at the facility early this morning so we are officially submitted to PAIR a WHOLE month early!!!!!

With as long and hard as our process has been we are very thankful any time anything happens "ahead of schedule". The fact that we were able to submit a whole month early has just magnified that. Please join us in praising God for His ability to move mountains on behalf of His children. We are so thankful for each of you that have joined us in praying that we could submit to PAIR early.

Ok, so now some of you are wondering what PAIR is. I will try my best to explain it simply. Ethiopia is not a part of the Hague Convention because of that they must use the PAIR (Pre-Adoption Immigration Review) process to ensure that children being placed for adoption are legitimate orphans. We have all heard the horror stories of children being placed for adoption when the birth parents didn't fully understand that it was a life long decision or of children being kidnapped and trafficked to feed the requests for healthy infants in many programs. The PAIR process is working hard to ensure that does not happen to one more child in Ethiopia. Like any program it has its flaws and you will hear many adoptive parents voice frustrations with the inefficiency of how it is ran.  However, we are thankful for the security and protection it adds for first families, adoptees and adoptive parents. Even though we already knew much about Nati's story and had no doubt that he needed to be placed for international adoption we are still thankful for the PAIR process. This week our agency received 100 pages of documentation that give us a glimpse into Nati's story. We have read over them again and again gaining new insight into the struggle that his first three and half years have been. We have learned new details that brought us to tears and we have learned new details that have brought us relief. All of this is Nati's story to share one day when and if he chooses so we will not be sharing any details. Let me just say what a treasure it is to have so much of his background story for him one day when he has hard questions. We will have some of the answers and we are very thankful for that. Our agency has submitted this packet of documents along with our I-600 to USCIS. We will be assigned an officer that will look at our family's information and Nati's information and make a determination of whether or not he would be eligible to immigrate to the US after the adoption is complete. Then all of this will be forwarded to the embassy portion of PAIR. During this portion there will be an investigation and court testimonies confirming that all of the documents in the packet are true. Will you be in prayer that this process would go as quickly as possible. Each step that we get through quicker gets us one step closer to having Nati home. We are praying that we will have our PAIR letter in hand no later than the beginning of June. 

We know that ultimately God is in control of this timeline and we trust Him with it. We ask that you would pray for our USCIS officer. We do not have a name yet but we know that God already knows. Pray that this officers heart would not be hardened by the never ending cases on their desk. Pray that Nati's case would find favor and that hearts would be softened to move his case as quickly as possible. As always continue to pray for Nati. Pray that he is being loved on daily with hugs, kisses and cuddles and that his most basic needs are being met. Thank you for praying us through this journey! 

Exciting News!!!!!

We have been anxiously waiting for the day we could write this blog post and share a little more of our adoption story with you. I have been privately journaling this last year and today I will try my best to give you the short version but I have to be honest it will probably be pretty long. :)

January 9th, 2014-  We applied to work with our home study agency, All Blessings International.

January 13th, 2014- Our family was accepted to work with All Blessings.

January 29th, 2014- Our family had completed all the paperwork and meetings needed for our home study.

February 3rd, 2014- We were accepted into the Ethiopia Program with our placement agency (Illien Adoptions)

February 11th, 2014- We received an email from our placement agency with information on 2 boys that were orphans but not yet available for adoption because of paperwork. 

They want to know if we would consider hosting them for medical treatment. We agree to get in touch with doctors to share the boys information, find out what they would need and to pray about if this would be something we would be willing to do.

Over the next several weeks we would be told countless times that the first boy was not a candidate to come for medical treatment because of his severe diagnosis. God allowed a time of brokenness in our lives over the injustice of this world and broke our hearts for the way special needs somehow changes a child's worthiness of time, effort and love. 

Looking back we know this was God closing one door to open another. The door that would eventually lead us to our son (boy #2) but we still believe God used this other precious boy to break our hearts and shape our view of Christ's love for special needs children. 

April 2nd, 2014- Unfortunately, it would be April before our home study would be finalized. Little did we know this would be the first of many times God would teach us patience in the coming year. :)

April 10, 2014- Our I-600A would be officially filed with USCIS

May 4, 2014-  My Birthday!!! We would drive to St. Louis to be fingerprinted and eat at an amazing authentic Ethiopian restaurant. My wimpiness with Ethnic food would be confirmed yet again and my wonderful husband would go through the Steak and Shake drive through to get me chicken tenders. :)

May 6, 2014- Our I-600A would be approved just 2 days after we were fingerprinted. 
This would be the only part of our process that went smoothly, quickly or "ahead of schedule". Yay!!! :)

We would spend the next couple months in the "paper chase" stage working to complete our dossier. 

June 30, 2014- We FedExed off our signed, notarized and authenticated dossier to our placement agency. From there is was sent to Washington D.C. to be authenticated at the federal level and translated. It would then be sent to Ethiopia. 

July 4th, 2014- I would get to speak on the phone, for almost 2 hours, with someone who had just spent the last week at the orphanage with our little guy. She had pictures and stories to tell me about him. She would become a big blessing and dear friend as the days moved forward and we pursued a medical visa for him. 

*** She had actually met our little guy in October of 2013 and her family had been praying that God would bring him a family.***

July 18th, 2014- At 4 pm on a Friday I would receive the news that our little guy had been taken to the hospital for a brain MRI because he was experiencing full body weakness and loss of appetite. It was the longest weekend of my life!!!

July 22nd, 2014- A dear friend that was traveling for court for her adoption would be gracious enough to go visit our little guy. She would take a care package to him and bring back videos and photos that are so precious to us. 

After receiving the news that he was declining and not doing well at all we would refocus our energy on the pursuit of a medical visa. We spent the next several months recruiting a neurosurgeon who would donate spinal surgery if needed, a hospital that would donate all additional care, an airfare donor that would pay for his and his escorts airfare here and back to Ethiopia and collecting the needed documents to apply.

October 22, 2014- The long awaited day had finally arrived. He would finally be seen at the Embassy to request a medical visa to come to the U.S. for medical treatment he desperately needed. We were confident, our agency was confident and our Ethiopia staff was confident that he would be granted the visa. We set up his bed, bought some clothes and toys and prepared our family. 

However, he would not receive the visa. In fact the official at the Embassy would not even look at his packet of letters we had fought to get for months...we were devastated.

October 26, 2014- Brandon and I would have the opportunity to speak in front of our church about God's sovereignty in adoption and what He was teaching us through this process. It was hard to stand in front of so many others and share in such a raw way just four days after hearing that he did not get the visa. At the end of each service our pastor had our whole church congregation circle around us and pray for our family and that God would move any obstacles preventing our child from coming home. It was such a beautiful reminder of all the people praying, supporting, fighting with us and loving us. I am not sure there was a dry eye in the place.

Our agency would reapply but would need to get additional documentation which would take time.

January 2015- We would end one year and begin the next discouraged and weary. There was still no progress on the adoption or the medical visa. We would began to talk with our home study agency about updating our home study.

While there was not much progress being made in our process we decided to host a fundraising event, on February 28th, 2015, with friends that had started the process to adopt from Uganda. It would allow us to be financially ready when our process did move forward and would be a welcome distraction. We threw ourselves into planning the event and joked that based off of past experience God would probably choose to have the Embassy appointment fall right in the middle of the event week. 

January 30th, 2014- We would receive an email that little man had finally been granted another appointment at the embassy to apply for the medical visa. Just as we had assumed God would choose to put it right in the middle of event week. He would be seen at the embassy at 8:30 AM on February 23rd, 2015.

February 23rd, 2015- We received an email that his visa appointment had been canceled and pushed back. We were discouraged we did not know sooner but chose to look at the good side...at least it would not fall during event week. It was rescheduled for March 4th, 2015.

February 27th, 2015- We would receive an email from our agency that they had received the last needed document ( Regional Letter) to move forward in the adoption process for little man. I cannot event tell you how exciting this day was for us!!!

February 28th, 2015- Our event, Two Families...One Call, would be snowed out and rescheduled for the following Saturday, March 4th, 2015. Guess what that means?!?! Visa appointment date is now during event week for the 3rd time!!! Do you think maybe God is trying to teach us something? ;)

March 4th, 2015- We would receive a conference call letting us know that the visa appointment went the same as last time...He did not get the visa. We were discouraged but thankful to at least know that there is some progress being made on the adoption side this time. 

The super exciting news that also came on March 4th, after 13 months of waiting, was that we would officially be offered little man's referral!!!!!!

I would LOVE to share his picture all over this blog but unfortunately we are not allowed to do that just yet. There are a few things I can tell you about him though. :) :) :)

1.)This one will be obvious if you have been paying attention but...IT'S A BOY!!!

2.) He is 3.5 years old

3.)We will call him Nati Solomon

4.)He has the most gorgeous curls, the most amazing eyes and the most beautiful smile. 

5.) He is absolutely PERFECT to us!!! :)


Thank you so much for praying for our family and supporting us up to this point. We could not have done it without your giving, praying and fighting along with us. We are so thankful that God has surrounded us with so many that are praying for our boy daily. Please continue to pray for us as we still have a long way to go. Pray that God would receive all the glory through Nati's story. God is good. 

*** The next step in our process will be to submit to the PAIR process. We are still waiting on 2 documents from Ethiopia to be able to submit. Our agency is estimating that it will take a month to obtain them. Pray that if it would be God's will we would be able to obtain them QUICKER. We believe that God already knows the USCIS officer that we will be assigned. Please join us in already praying for the officer that will specifically handle Nati's case. Pray that we will move through PAIR as smoothly and quickly as possible. Pray that this part of our process will move along better than the first part and that if it would be God's plan we could travel for court before rainy season in Ethiopia.***

Your Will, Not Mine

I know it has been a while since we have updated this blog. Honestly, there has not been much progress to report. I have been privately journaling about our journey and cannot wait until the day I can share the whole hard, messy, beautiful story with you all. The last four months have been HARD emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We have watched dates come and go that we thought would produce progress in this process. We have celebrated a holiday all about thankfulness and wrestled with feeling ungrateful at times. We have celebrated Christmas knowing our whole family was not here. I can't even describe the ache of that knowledge. It is something we struggle with everyday, feeling like even though our house is so full and loud and busy and blessed it is not complete. I am not sure how to explain that with words it is just something we feel. And here we are over a year into the journey and people ask "Where we are in the process" and it will almost always make tears spring to my eyes. Because it feels like we are in the exact same place as we were this time last year. We are doing the home study paperwork again. After that we will likely be updating our immigration information. Our calendars look almost identical to this time last year. We are still waiting.

But to say we were in the exact same place would be a lie from the Enemy. There have been tangible things happening to get us closer to bringing our child home. Some things we know about and some things we don't. We trust that God is always working even when we cannot see it. Even without those tangible reminders of progress we know we are one year closer to the day when God will finish what He started. 

Our faith is certainly not the same. This past year God has stretched our faith in ways we could have never imagined. He has allowed us the privelege to wrestle with injustice and brokenness and has allowed us to be broken in the process. He has taught us to trust in His sovereignty more than our desires. He has taught us to be joyful and thankful in ALL circumstances. He has taught us that Praising Him always reminds us of His perfect character. He is teaching us to pray His will and what He wants, not just what we want. He is teaching us to pray that above all our desires He would bring glory to Himself through this story. 

He is good. He is faithful. He is able.

This past Sunday night in our discipleship class we studied Mark 14: 32-36. In verses 33 and 34 we see that Jesus is deeply distressed and His soul is overwhelmed. Any adoptive family can relate to these feelings. But as I look at verse 36 I cannot even speak around the lump in my throat. I can barely see the words for the tears in my eyes. 

Abba. Father. Daddy. 

A desperate plea for help when we realize we cannot handle this on our own. When we realize that our souls are overwhelmed by the brokenness of this world. The verse goes on to say "Everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me.". How many times in this past year have I prayed 

"God, I know you can make this process move." 

"I know you can do anything you want."

"You can make anything happen."

"I don't want to wait anymore."

"I don't want this hard part anymore."

"I want you to get the glory by intervening now."

"Why is your justice delayed?"

But read just a little bit farther and you get to the real heart of the passage. 

"Yet not what I will, but what you will." 

The bending of our Saviors will. His willingness to be beaten, battered and broken for us. 

For this child we already love and pray for so much. 

He Loves Him More. 

So why am I so afraid to trust his plan? His timing? His will? Why am I ever afraid to pray not what I want, but what you want God.

So as we enter this season of Lent ,where we give up something to gain more of Him. To be more like Him. 

I give up 

My heart. My rights. My will.

 After all, that is what this season is about. Remembering that He gave up all of those things for us.

He Will Provide

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

1 John 5:14

When Brandon and I started this journey we knew we were being asked to take a big step out in faith and believe God for the outcome.

We knew we were supposed to be adopting a child but we did not know how we would pay for the process. One of the most common responses we get when we tell people we are adopting internationally is that they could never afford to do the same.

My response is always...Neither can we.

International adoption is expensive. I plan to further break down what each dollar is going to in another post. There are a couple reasons I plan to do that. One, we are asking others to help us bring our child home and when we are fundraising I feel like it is very important to be transparent. Also, it might just be my Type A personality but I like to see things getting crossed of a list and goals met so it will also help you see what we have already paid for and what costs we still have coming up. Two, it will help to dispel the myth that one person is receiving all that money. It seems to me that people envision that we are giving our agency $40,000 in exchange for a child and that is simply not the case. The money is going to many different agencies, government offices, institutions, and people for their services.

Anyway, back to this blog post. We started this process back in January with the money for our home study and our first set of agency fees needed. We did not however have the second agency fees or travel money on hand. Brandon and I had waited and prayed for God to lead when we started the process. We felt God calling us to adopt back when I was pregnant with Benjamin but because many agencies require your youngest child to be at least a year old we waited for that milestone. We waited because all the money wasn't there. We waited because there was talk of Ethiopia shutting down to international adoptions.

We finally realized God was asking us to step out in spite of all those things. He was asking us to trust Him for the finances. He was asking us to trust that Ethiopia would remain open and that if it didn't that He would still be in control. For two people who like to plan and have safety nets this was a little scary. 

What if we submitted our paperwork and Ethiopia shut down? What if we got to the end of our money and we didn't have the amount needed to finish? What if we were not prepared enough?

You know the great thing? God isn't asking us to do this in our own strength, wisdom, or financial ability.

He is simply asking us to trust Him to be everything we need. Throughout this process we have had Godly friends encourage us when we were at our weakest. Fellow adoptive parents share words of wisdom when needed. So many others share in the financial burden of this process. 

We have had people we don't even talk to on a regular basis tell us "for some reason" they wanted to give to help us bring our child home. We know it is not just some reason. We know when God calls us to do something

HE. WILL. PROVIDE.

With that being said we had a dear and generous friend contact us today with the offer of a matching donation. Here is how it will work...

Any donation you make over the next 3 weeks(by July 24th) will be matched dollar for dollar up to $1,500!!!!!!!

You can private message me or comment below with the amount you would like to donate

or just use our Paypal button on this blog and put ***MATCH***

in the comment section.

Any amount that has been given small or large has been a blessing to us on this journey.

However if you would like your donation to go twice as far now is the time to give!!!!

We are trusting God to provide the remaining money needed through our friends. We are so thankful for friends that are obedient to what the Lord asks them to do.

God is Good!!!

The Dossier is done!!!

Those of you that have asked how the adoption process is going lately have likely received one of three responses from us. 

1) a huge rant on how much easier the adoption process would be if people could fill out a form right the first time. 

2) A big sigh followed up by a generic answer about how we are STILL working on the paperwork part of the process. 

3) Tears... because I cannot put into words that we are not any closer than the last time you asked.

But all of that changed today...

Today, we mailed our dossier to our agency which means that the mounds of paperwork and forms we have been working on are behind us. Of course we will still have some more paperwork to fill out but the months of filling out form after form and being consumed by our dossier checklist are over. 

It was a feeling of relief to be done and a feeling of nervousness to be letting go of something that we have been working on for so long. 

(I may or may not have had a mini panic attack when the lady behind the FedEx counter asked me how much I wanted to insure the package for in case it was lost or damaged in transit.)

The bottom line is we are excited to be entering this next phase of our journey. The next step is to officially accept a referral!!!

We do not know how long this part of our process will take but we know God does. We are looking forward to the day He reveals that part of His plan to us. 

We are asking that you would join us in praying over our dossier. Please pray that all the forms will include everything needed and that we will not need revisions. Pray that it will find favor in the hands of those processing it. Ultimately, pray that it will find its way to Ethiopia in God's timing. We know He has been providing for us this far into the journey and we know He will continue to do so. 

As always please continue to pray for the child that God intends to bring into our family. 

We are thankful to know that God has created this child and is more than able to provide care and protection for him.

God is Good!!!

My First Mother's Day As A Waiting Mom

I have honestly been dreading this day for a couple weeks. Not because I am not a mom already but because I knew one of my kiddos would not be waking me up with kisses and making me crafts in Sunday school. I knew I would not be hugging one of my children today and telling them how glad I was that God chose me to be their mommy.

It is hard...this wait...some days are harder than others.

I don't know why. It makes absolutely no sense. It is just another day.

Still days like today tend to make my heart ache more than others.

A little over a week ago I could already feel it coming on. I went into the room which is nothing new. Some of you will wonder what in the world I am talking about so I will explain. Brandon and I already have a room set up in our house with a bed and some toys for the child that will eventually be a part of our family. I often go stand in the room when I need to dream a little and make this whole journey to our child feel more real...more close to happening.

Well last week I did not go into the room to dream. I went in the room to cry...lay out on my face before my Father and cry my heart out to him. I knew today was coming. I knew one child would be missing from my arms that was already in my heart. Let me be totally honest with you I was ready to have a pity party for myself. You know the great thing about laying yourself out there for the Lord to see..

He already knows. 

He already knows my heart and that I was choosing to focus on what I didn't have instead of what I do have. He knows that sometimes He has to remind me just how much He has already given me. When I had laid there for a bit I got up, wiped my tears and had a mini praise session. God has been so good to me. He has given me the blessing to be a mom four times. He has been gracious enough to set me on this new journey of becoming a mommy through the process of adoption. He alone has brought me to this point and He alone will be my strength through the wait to hold my little one.

Today I woke up to four beautiful little faces kissing me and wishing me a "Happy Mother's Day". I got to go to church with them and worship our Creator. I was able to eat lunch with my mother. I was able to celebrate my sister graduating high school. I will kiss and tuck four babies into their beds under my roof tonight. 

I. AM. BLESSED.

While I will not be tucking in our Ethiopia baby tonight I will be praying as I did last night. I will pray that today somebody showed him the love of a mother...the love of the Father. I will pray somebody kissed his little nose and told him he was special. That somebody told him a mommy would be coming for him as soon as she could. Once again I will turn him over to God...all of my children over to God.

He alone sustains and protects them all.

Just yesterday Emme was singing along to the radio in the car 

"Nothing formed against me shall stand. He holds the whole world in His hands. I'm holding on to Your promises...You are faithful."

Thankful He is holding all my babies tonight even when one is half way around the world.

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Yes I know most people already know. If you have been around Brandon and I over the last several months then you already have heard. We are getting blessed with the privilege of becoming mom and dad again. Somehow that news never gets old or less exciting but yes this time is different.

This time we are becoming parents through adoption!!!

All of our other babies have been introduced to our friends and family with an ultrasound picture. This time there is no picture. With all of our other babies we had a due date. This time there is no predictable time frame. However the excitement is the same. 

We wanted to use this post to explain where our heart has been last 2 years. Brandon and I had talked about building our family through adoption when we were newly married. Many people in our family have experienced infertility and/or miscarriages and we were prepared to struggle as well. However God had a different plan and blessed us with four pregnancies and healthy babies in the span of 5 years. 

Adoption was forgotten as time went on.

About 2 years ago Brandon and I got the opportunity to help host Orphan Sunday at our church. As we were preparing for the event and researching to have statistics ready we were shocked by some of the numbers.

We should not have been...

As we prepared for Orphan Sunday we began to pray in the weeks before that if God would even move in one heart through Orphan Sunday that it would be worth it. If one family decided to adopt or foster or sponsor that it would be worth it. We were praying for God to break someone's heart and he did.

It was ours...

Still there was more waiting and prayer involved because I was pregnant with Benjamin at the time. God revealed to us that adoption did not have to be just a solution to infertility. So many times in scripture orphan care is mentioned and as Christ followers it just makes sense for us to build our family this way. We realize not everyone is called to adopt but we do believe that everyone can play a role in the process.

Ways You Can Help Us While We Wait

1.) Prayer- This will be the single most important thing you can do for us. We would ask that you already be praying for our child. While we do not have a face or name yet God knows who the child is. Also pray for all the people who will be working to help us get our child home. We will be dealing with many people working at different agencies and ask that you would begin praying for them as they help us complete this process. Last but not least pray for us as we can already tell this journey is going to be full of ups and downs. Pray that we would stay focused on God and not the circumstances of the process.

2.) Talk to us about it- Understand that we are just as excited as a couple that would be expecting a biological child. We want to talk about it most days and share any progress that is being made. This is already very real to us and we want to include you in our journey. Understand sometimes when you ask we will smile and tell you good news and other times we will cry because we are discouraged. Either is fine and we are glad you care enough to put up with our ever changing emotions.

3.) Finances- I am just going to say it International adoption is expensive. PERIOD. It is totally worth every penny to bring our child home but it is costly. While we have already spent $15,000 for the initial fees we still have plenty of the cost ahead of us including the $12,500 fee when we accept a referral and the cost to go to Ethiopia TWICE ($10k-$15k). We are so thankful for everyone who has already supported us this far. Many of you gave hand stamped jewelry for Christmas and bought cookbooks to help us start the process but we have a ways to go. We have no doubt that God will provide through those around us. We know that when God calls you to something He provides for it and we are trusting that He will lay it on your hearts to give and help us bring our child home. There will be several ways you can do this including buying jewelry, cookbooks, T-shirts, or coming to an event night we plan to have this summer (more details coming).

We are so excited and feel so blessed to be on this journey. We are so thankful that God is encouraging us already through those following us on our journey. Thank you for celebrating with us!!!

Here is a picture of the front of our shirts with 1 John 4:19

The back has a quote by David Platt

" We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do everything changes."

1 for $20 or 2 for $35

(please add $2 for XL and XXL)

Cookbooks include 300 recipes and are $10